So M and I finally had a chance to try soft swapping for the first time a month ago at a private party held at someone's home. And to say it was exhilarating and frightening is an understatement. Apparantly, I'm a hottie. LOL, I wish I was exaggerating. Every time M left me alone, there was a man who would come up and hit on me. I had several men look at me throughout the evening with those hungry eyes, usually reserved for M.
At first, we were shy. Everyone seemed to know everyone by name. There was a threesome in front of us in the beginning of the evening, and as more people stream into the party, they would be interrupted by people saying hello to them, never missing a beat at what was transpiring.
As the evening progressed, everyone was starting to pair off, take corners, take rooms, and well started fucking. We got into that groove as well, and we also started to fuck in front of the onlookers. It felt like we were on a stage for a minute, and M was having a hard time concentrating. He finally came inside me, but not after I took my clothes off, sans my stockings. We laid there for a moment, wondering what we should do next. After awhile, we decided to check out the back rooms. There were definitely more action there, and finally settle on one of the rooms with a water bed. We watched two couples playing each other, with both women playing with the other as their partner's cocks pound them. There was a threesome on the waterbed, doing their thing. People were streaming in and out of room to look. We managed to sneak into a space between the waterbed and closet to fuck.
I stood by the headboard and nightstand, with my hand bracing the wall, as M entered me from behind, his hard cock pounding me. I was in a cusp of orgasm, when I felt a hand caressing my breast. One of the guys on the water bed decided to help me along, while his wife was orally pleasuring both men on the bed. I came extremely hard. I thanked the man and I thought it was the end of it. However, the other man on the bed was disparately trying to get his head between my legs. M literally asked me if I was ready to go when my body decided to lower my pussy towards this stranger's head. I don't know what came over me, honestly I was thinking, "shit...I'll let you lick me if you don't break your neck trying to get to me". M didn't even question it, we were going to stay. At first he fingered my pussy. Immediately, my libido took over my reason and I wanted more, as I lowered my pussy further to his lips. He licked me gently, then biting one side of my labia then the other. His lips sliding up and down my pussy, exploring all its folds. I wanted more. I let him spread my labia lips apart so that he can explore deeper. According to M, I sat on his face, cumming so hard, being a greedy little slut.
While this was going on, there was another man, stroking his hard thick cock. Without thinking, I somehow managed to bend toward him and suck him. It was thick and meaty and I all of it in my mouth. He eventually laid down on the bed so I could give him a good sucking. Unfortunately, I couldn't make him cum because the guy licking my pussy made me cum like a banshee. All of this time, M was there behind me, flicking his cock on my ass, holding me, reassuring me, even kissed me and said he loved me. I wanted to fuck both of them. Hell, I was in a state that I would have fucked all the men in that room. Regrettably, my body couldn't stand the position I had put myself in and started to rebel. I had to stop, just when everyone was ready to fuck me; M, the guy licking me. I was in such deep subspace that I was trembling, and I couldn't stand. M took me out of the room for some aftercare. We eventually was able to get up and get dressed, but I was surprised that I was coherent and able to stand.
On the ride home, I began to panic. I had lost control to the extent that if I hadn't stopped, I wouldn't have. The revelation of that frightened me to no end. I began to ramble about this, processing this, make up new rules of play because of this. M was extremely supportive during my panic moment.
The panic subsided when we got home. M kept asking me if it was fun for me despite that. I said yes. M's perspective was equally revealing...he felt more in touch with me than he ever had. He felt no jealousy, although he did say he felt some pressure to perform. Of the activities involved, he said it was extremely arousing, something he told me later that he fantasize often.
The aftermath of this lasted a few weeks. M wanted more, but I was hesitant to jump into another party so close to the last one, while trying to get ready for the move. I eventually had a "come to Jesus" moment with him regarding my fears. The fear of losing control again, the fear of poor impulse control, the fear of the unknowns. All of this made me realize how much I craved to be devoured to sex, to my body, and how I'm willing to set aside reasoning for it. I also realized how tightly wrapped I was. And that I trusted M implicitly, how much I love him with all of my soul.
Its illuminating how, no matter how much we talk about everything prior to engaging in swinging, that we never anticipated how strong my reaction was going to be, or how much this was going to strengthened our relationship. Moving forward, we have instituted new limits to help me handle this lose of control better. For one, we play together. Another, we limit the number of men that plays with me. I know that we are still new at this, and this may change once we start full swaps. But I can be assured that M is there for me in every way, and that I can rely on him totally.
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