The search for a place turned out to be a complete and utter nightmare, as I began and ended in my search in the middle of another housing boom, which resulted in 20 people for every place I looked at. It didn't help that I was searching during the start of the summer, one of the busiest times to move. At a week to spare, I ended up landing a roommate situation, that suited the both of us. He works during the evenings, while I have my 9 to 5 job.
I'm week one of settling into my new place. Mostly everything is in it's place. I need to take the boxes out of the apartment, take and grab some items to my storage place, and eventually get a new bed. I'm just happy that I have internet access :)
It is easy to say that my new life started as soon as I left that lovely house in the hills, with the flowing wisteria in the front yard. However, my life changed as soon as I broke up with M. As I found myself in my new room last Thursday evening, the finality of that separation didn't manifest itself until I moved myself and my cat into my new place. Traumatized by the ride to his new home in a carrier, the cat scurried around trying to find a place to hide, until he settled into the covers of my bed. Meanwhile, as I was trying to soothe him, tears streamed out of my eyes, down on my face, and didn't stop until I decided to have a drink from one of the bottles of alcohol that M foisted on me.
Before I left the old place, I gave M a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and wished him good luck. I don't know what the future holds between the both of us, but my instincts was telling me that this will be the last time I will see him. I texted him during my crying episode that I will miss him and to keep in touch. I meant every word I wrote.
So here I am, settling and beginning another chapter of my life. Those annoying quotes in my title is to cue the reader of the use of the word "Life" as sort of used in irony, like in Alanis Morissette definition of irony. Essentially, we only have one life. Many themes, many chapters, but only one life. We might as live it as a special entity, never to happen again, which is true, I believe. As this blog started on one journey, I am now on a different trajectory than M's, onto a different story, one written by me, for me for a change.
Despite the sadness, the confusion I experienced throughout this separation, it is a marked different one than the last, even at this early stage. I'm not in a hurry to have another primary boyfriend, even though there are stirrings inside me to go out and be seen again as sexy dominant woman. The first thing I've done is read a book I bought a few years ago that hadn't been read yet. The next book I will read after this one will be a series of books I meant to read a few years ago as well. Tomorrow I'm going to the city to see a play, on my own. The next few weeks I plan to reconnect with friends. But dating? Not sure. Oh, I'm still seeing JN, and I'll see if my play partner wants to continue with me. Even the flirtation is still ongoing at work. But nothing feels urgent or pressing. That isn't to say that I don't feel raw and emotional. I am anticipating that the emotions will come in fits and bursts, and I let it flow through me.
That's the first paragraph of my new chapter of my life. We shall see what the rest of my story will unfold.
