Infidelity

Unlike the woman who wrote this book, my fling with infidelity didn't lead me to enlightenment, although it lead me to my new life. Neither did I become despondent, although it did hurt someone I cared about, and forced me to question everything about myself. At the time, I thought of one thing and only thing, to have the kind of sexual experience I wanted that was lacking in my marriage.

I will not lie, I felt alive, sexy even during it, even when if the consequences of my actions prayed on the back of my mind. But in the end it was a fantasy, not only mine but his. A fantasy that we can keep this secret forever, that I can live a lie. The other truth I must admit, I don't regret it, well not most of it. I do regret with whom I had the affair, how I hurt myself and my husband.

Does that make me an evil person? A slut? What if I told you that I was atoning for my sins but putting myself in a self-imposed exile? I am...but it doesn't matter. I've been admonished by friends who have had their own brush with infidelity.

Yet, I'm expected to tell you to not do it. I won't. It was never my place to make judgments in the affairs of the hearts. There are never good reasons to do it, but as someone who went into this with her eyes open, logic never enters into the equation.

I know that I am not the only one who did this. But if this post is any indication, infidelity leaves more questions than it answers.